Foster 5.5?

Gracie Ann is back; apparently she's become the boss dog at the shelter, so she needs some time on the outside to get rehabilitated. Here's 30 seconds of her playing King of the Hill on the furniture with Buddy - you'll notice that she's winning.

Dog eat dog

Caption: A vicious 6-month-old Puggle puppy, known as Tony the Corkscrew, attacks an innocent victim in Columbia, Mo. on Dec. 27, 2007.




Tony is our fourth foster, a pug/beagle mix (aka the "designer breed" puggle). We grabbed him right before Christmas because the shelter was getting overwhelmed.






A man of taste, in addition to eating American Pit Bull Terriers, Tony also likes to sample the occasional blanket.

"Help! My dog ate __________ " or "How to make Snuggles hurl chunks"

Okay, so I'm a big nerd. I look at Web statistics nearly every day to see where both of my visitors came from the day before. I do this even if I'm too lazy to post something.

Nerdery aside, it seems lots of you find the blog searching Google for variations on a single theme: "dog ate __________." ("Dog ate sock" is the most popular, despite none of my dogs actually consuming a sock... though they do like to haul them out of the dirty laundry and carry them around.) So I thought maybe you would like some actual useful information.

First, a disclaimer: If your dog swallowed something you think may be dangerous, call the vet or the ASPCA's Animal Poison Control Center - 1-888-426-4435. (There may be a fee.) I am not an expert, just a guy with dogs that eat a lot of crap they shouldn't.

There are basically three kinds of harmful things a dog can swallow:

1) Stabby things - like paperclips and chicken bones
2) Poo stoppers - like socks, pantyhose and bears
3) Poisons - like chocolate and antifreeze

The most important step is prevention. Just don't keep stabby things and poisons (including chocolate, nuts and leftover hotwings) laying where your dogs can reach them.

Okay... so obviously sometimes dogs get into things they shouldn't despite our best efforts, as demonstrated by the time Bailey reached into the kitchen sink and ate an entire pound of ground beef. And, as demonstrated by this blog, poo stoppers are everywhere. Even toys intended for dog usage can quickly turn into stomach fodder.

What then?

In most cases, you should induce vomiting. However, don't do this if:
1) They swallowed something sharp
2) They swallowed something caustic such as Drano or cleaning products
3) They are having seizures or convulsions
4) They swallowed a petroleum product
5) It's been more than two hours since they swallowed it

In the above cases, contact your vet immediately!

How do I induce vomiting?

Find a bottle of hydrogen peroxide - that stuff you put on cuts that gets all bubbly - and a teaspoon. Hold the dog's mouth open and dump two teaspoons in. The dog will probably gag or otherwise try to spew it on you, but make sure most of it goes down.

Now, wait ten minutes. If they haven't barfed yet, you might need more (Buddy has been known to need several tablespoons-worth before). You can give them one to three teaspoons more every ten minutes. Repeat up to three times.

If that doesn't do the trick, call your vet.

Some things your dog shouldn't eat that you might not know about:
Chocolate
Grapes/raisins
Pennies (The zinc coating is toxic)
Macademia nuts
Beer/Hops (doesn't hurt all dogs, but small amounts can be toxic to others, especially Greyhounds)
Onions (also garlic, though onions are worse)

Of Bears and Barf

Decapitation (from Latin, caput, capitis, meaning head), or beheading, is the removal of a stuffed bear's head. Beheading typically refers to the act of intentional decapitation; it may be accomplished, for example, with an axe, sword, guillotine or terrier.

In some instances, technically speaking the body is actually removed, merely leaving the head as in this example.




In the event of a bear-decapitation-by-terrier, first, look for other bear remains. If the limbs and torso are missing, the recommended course of action is to induce vomiting to prevent a bear-bowel-blockage.

Force feed the terrier several teaspoons of hydrogen peroxide and wait up to 20 minutes.



Mmmm... yummy. As a result, Buddy's not feeling particularly lively this evening.

Broken Nails

The other day, Hank lost a nail.

Two of them actually.

We found them embedded in Buddy's face.

This is Hank's second assault on Buddy, the first resulting in a wicked cut along Bud's neck.

10 lbs. of cat.

60 lbs. of pit bull.

But Buddy didn't seem to mind. Even with two claws hanging out of his face, he was play-bowing to the cat, looking a little bit meek. More than anything, Hank had hurt his feelings. The poor delusional dog just wants to be friends.

Happy Memorial Day!

A day late... or so...
(At least Memorial Day used to be May 30.)

For your viewing pleasure, here're Buddy and Bailey hogging the backseat of the car on a trip to WashMo. Xena, meanwhile, is sleeping curled on the floorboards, pouting between bouts of nose-nudging my elbow while I drive, trying to find a way to ride shotgun on Amanda's lap.

Disguise

Amanda, when did we get a Shar Pei?

Pedicure

Well, hi there Buddy. Why the long face? What's that? Is there something on your nail? Is it ketchup? Is it blood? Is it... Oh christ... it's nail polish! Did she try to give you a pedicure?



First the gonads, now this... it's a hard knock life.

Laid to Rest

From the box it came in:

"MEMORY FOAM
TermoPedic Temperature Smart Pet Bed
2 Inch Memory Foam
Temperature Smart
Relieves Pressure
- Adjusts to body heat and weight
- Ideal for dogs with arthritis & hip dysplasia [BOTH? Poor dog!]
- Machine washable zipper cover

Try it!
You've got to feel it to believe it!

Hypoallergenic"






I think the Memory Foam forgot.

Bon Appétit

Declaration of Indigestion

When in the Course of chewing events it becomes necessary for one Dog to shred anything it can wrap its jaws around to tiny little rubbery pieces, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind is generally ignored.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that teeth of bone crushing strength are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Chew Toys and the destruction of said Chew Toys. -- That to secure these Rights, one Dog might carry around the same Toy for days, -- That whenever said ancient toy disintegrates between one Dog's massive jaws, ingestion of several chunks of said chew toy is unavoidable.



"The Cheeks" are gone. Toy of Buddy, toy of Xena, toy of Bailey, toy of Bartholomew.

Kong Squeakers

Kong Squeakers
These are ingenius; they're tennis balls that squeak. Ideal for the attention deficit puppy.

Tip: Pack them away when not in use. Buddy demonstrates the alternative above.

Nylabone (1997-2007)

Dear Green Nylabone,

I really want you to know that I enjoyed our time together. You swept me off my feet with your rugged charm and strength. Then, as we got to know each other, I was delighted to find how long you could last.

I guess we both know the beginning of the end. I never should have let you sit under the couch for so long. Then, when you came out, you were so dirty. The dishwasher seemed like a good idea. I'm sorry, I really am. Nothing really seemed different when you came out. You seemed refreshed, like a long day at the spa had done you good.

You were an old bone, though. Even if I couldn't see it, the heat had left you... shall we say... flaccid. And now you can't perform. We tried. It didn't end well. And now you're half the chew you used to be.

What I'm trying to say, Green Nylabone, is that we can't see each other anymore. I'm afraid that one of us will just get hurt, choking on the bitter plastic remains of our love. Goodbye,Green Nylabone. I'll never forget you.

Love Forever,
the Dogs


Product Info
This was a medium-sized, non-edible Nylabone which lasted several years, through a Corgi and Xena (beagle/spaniel). Bailey never was very interested in it. It was destroyed one day while nobody was watching after being weakened by the dishwasher, probably by Buddy (pit bull).

In Memoriam

Eater, Purple People
(2005-2007)

Purple People Eater, 2, of Columbia, formerly of Sedalia, died Sunday, Jan. 28, 2007, victim of a vicious animal attack.

Mr. Eater was squeaky, soft and purple. He was notably durable, outlasting most other squeakers of his generation even after the tragic loss of his squeak. He was a good friend of Xena dog, with whom he was often seen on the couch with his cotton entrails strewn about.

Mr. Eater was horribly mauled during an altercation with a pit bull, Buddy. Portions of his body have not been recovered, many of which are still embedded in the carpet. He will be remembered for his obnoxious squeak, penchant for bright colors and time he spent with Xena during her surgery.

He is survived by the squeaky duck, three Kong balls, and a tug-of-war toy, all of Columbia.

Preceding him in death are three bones, countless rawhides and one tennis ball.

Services were held Sunday in the living room. His body is interred in the kitchen trash. Memorials are suggested to the Squeaker Replacement Fund.