Of Bears and Barf

Decapitation (from Latin, caput, capitis, meaning head), or beheading, is the removal of a stuffed bear's head. Beheading typically refers to the act of intentional decapitation; it may be accomplished, for example, with an axe, sword, guillotine or terrier.

In some instances, technically speaking the body is actually removed, merely leaving the head as in this example.




In the event of a bear-decapitation-by-terrier, first, look for other bear remains. If the limbs and torso are missing, the recommended course of action is to induce vomiting to prevent a bear-bowel-blockage.

Force feed the terrier several teaspoons of hydrogen peroxide and wait up to 20 minutes.



Mmmm... yummy. As a result, Buddy's not feeling particularly lively this evening.

Declaration of Indigestion

When in the Course of chewing events it becomes necessary for one Dog to shred anything it can wrap its jaws around to tiny little rubbery pieces, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind is generally ignored.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that teeth of bone crushing strength are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Chew Toys and the destruction of said Chew Toys. -- That to secure these Rights, one Dog might carry around the same Toy for days, -- That whenever said ancient toy disintegrates between one Dog's massive jaws, ingestion of several chunks of said chew toy is unavoidable.



"The Cheeks" are gone. Toy of Buddy, toy of Xena, toy of Bailey, toy of Bartholomew.

Kong Squeakers

Kong Squeakers
These are ingenius; they're tennis balls that squeak. Ideal for the attention deficit puppy.

Tip: Pack them away when not in use. Buddy demonstrates the alternative above.

Nylabone (1997-2007)

Dear Green Nylabone,

I really want you to know that I enjoyed our time together. You swept me off my feet with your rugged charm and strength. Then, as we got to know each other, I was delighted to find how long you could last.

I guess we both know the beginning of the end. I never should have let you sit under the couch for so long. Then, when you came out, you were so dirty. The dishwasher seemed like a good idea. I'm sorry, I really am. Nothing really seemed different when you came out. You seemed refreshed, like a long day at the spa had done you good.

You were an old bone, though. Even if I couldn't see it, the heat had left you... shall we say... flaccid. And now you can't perform. We tried. It didn't end well. And now you're half the chew you used to be.

What I'm trying to say, Green Nylabone, is that we can't see each other anymore. I'm afraid that one of us will just get hurt, choking on the bitter plastic remains of our love. Goodbye,Green Nylabone. I'll never forget you.

Love Forever,
the Dogs


Product Info
This was a medium-sized, non-edible Nylabone which lasted several years, through a Corgi and Xena (beagle/spaniel). Bailey never was very interested in it. It was destroyed one day while nobody was watching after being weakened by the dishwasher, probably by Buddy (pit bull).

In Memoriam

Eater, Purple People
(2005-2007)

Purple People Eater, 2, of Columbia, formerly of Sedalia, died Sunday, Jan. 28, 2007, victim of a vicious animal attack.

Mr. Eater was squeaky, soft and purple. He was notably durable, outlasting most other squeakers of his generation even after the tragic loss of his squeak. He was a good friend of Xena dog, with whom he was often seen on the couch with his cotton entrails strewn about.

Mr. Eater was horribly mauled during an altercation with a pit bull, Buddy. Portions of his body have not been recovered, many of which are still embedded in the carpet. He will be remembered for his obnoxious squeak, penchant for bright colors and time he spent with Xena during her surgery.

He is survived by the squeaky duck, three Kong balls, and a tug-of-war toy, all of Columbia.

Preceding him in death are three bones, countless rawhides and one tennis ball.

Services were held Sunday in the living room. His body is interred in the kitchen trash. Memorials are suggested to the Squeaker Replacement Fund.