Houseplants: The other white meat.

A Room of Hank's Own

"But, you may say, we asked you to speak about kittens and two-steps -- what has that got to do with a room of Hank's own?

...All I could do was to offer you an opinion upon one minor point -- a kitten must have catnip and a room of its own if it is to two-step; and that, as you will see, leaves the great problem of the true nature of kittens and the true nature of two-steps unsolved."

Of Bears and Barf

Decapitation (from Latin, caput, capitis, meaning head), or beheading, is the removal of a stuffed bear's head. Beheading typically refers to the act of intentional decapitation; it may be accomplished, for example, with an axe, sword, guillotine or terrier.

In some instances, technically speaking the body is actually removed, merely leaving the head as in this example.




In the event of a bear-decapitation-by-terrier, first, look for other bear remains. If the limbs and torso are missing, the recommended course of action is to induce vomiting to prevent a bear-bowel-blockage.

Force feed the terrier several teaspoons of hydrogen peroxide and wait up to 20 minutes.



Mmmm... yummy. As a result, Buddy's not feeling particularly lively this evening.

Three catnip mice...

Three catnip mice.
Three catnip mice.
See all their entrails.
See all their entrails.
They were intended for Hank the Cat,
Xena sliced them open like Mortal Combat.
Did you ever see a dog as vicious as that?
Three catnip mice.