A Room of Hank's Own

"But, you may say, we asked you to speak about kittens and two-steps -- what has that got to do with a room of Hank's own?

...All I could do was to offer you an opinion upon one minor point -- a kitten must have catnip and a room of its own if it is to two-step; and that, as you will see, leaves the great problem of the true nature of kittens and the true nature of two-steps unsolved."

Gold Bond: Now not just for old folks!

Gold Bond's "triple action relief" is now no longer just for old people. It also helps Bailey -- the lab/golden mix who seems to be allergic to everything including herself -- get some much-needed temporary relief from itching. A little powder on the ears and toes goes a long way, though she does leave a trail of powdery white footprints in the kitchen nowadays.

As an added bonus, Bailey now smells vaguely like a convalescent home crossed with menthol cigarettes, which, for a dog, can be a good thing.

"Help! My dog ate __________ " or "How to make Snuggles hurl chunks"

Okay, so I'm a big nerd. I look at Web statistics nearly every day to see where both of my visitors came from the day before. I do this even if I'm too lazy to post something.

Nerdery aside, it seems lots of you find the blog searching Google for variations on a single theme: "dog ate __________." ("Dog ate sock" is the most popular, despite none of my dogs actually consuming a sock... though they do like to haul them out of the dirty laundry and carry them around.) So I thought maybe you would like some actual useful information.

First, a disclaimer: If your dog swallowed something you think may be dangerous, call the vet or the ASPCA's Animal Poison Control Center - 1-888-426-4435. (There may be a fee.) I am not an expert, just a guy with dogs that eat a lot of crap they shouldn't.

There are basically three kinds of harmful things a dog can swallow:

1) Stabby things - like paperclips and chicken bones
2) Poo stoppers - like socks, pantyhose and bears
3) Poisons - like chocolate and antifreeze

The most important step is prevention. Just don't keep stabby things and poisons (including chocolate, nuts and leftover hotwings) laying where your dogs can reach them.

Okay... so obviously sometimes dogs get into things they shouldn't despite our best efforts, as demonstrated by the time Bailey reached into the kitchen sink and ate an entire pound of ground beef. And, as demonstrated by this blog, poo stoppers are everywhere. Even toys intended for dog usage can quickly turn into stomach fodder.

What then?

In most cases, you should induce vomiting. However, don't do this if:
1) They swallowed something sharp
2) They swallowed something caustic such as Drano or cleaning products
3) They are having seizures or convulsions
4) They swallowed a petroleum product
5) It's been more than two hours since they swallowed it

In the above cases, contact your vet immediately!

How do I induce vomiting?

Find a bottle of hydrogen peroxide - that stuff you put on cuts that gets all bubbly - and a teaspoon. Hold the dog's mouth open and dump two teaspoons in. The dog will probably gag or otherwise try to spew it on you, but make sure most of it goes down.

Now, wait ten minutes. If they haven't barfed yet, you might need more (Buddy has been known to need several tablespoons-worth before). You can give them one to three teaspoons more every ten minutes. Repeat up to three times.

If that doesn't do the trick, call your vet.

Some things your dog shouldn't eat that you might not know about:
Chocolate
Grapes/raisins
Pennies (The zinc coating is toxic)
Macademia nuts
Beer/Hops (doesn't hurt all dogs, but small amounts can be toxic to others, especially Greyhounds)
Onions (also garlic, though onions are worse)

Of Bears and Barf

Decapitation (from Latin, caput, capitis, meaning head), or beheading, is the removal of a stuffed bear's head. Beheading typically refers to the act of intentional decapitation; it may be accomplished, for example, with an axe, sword, guillotine or terrier.

In some instances, technically speaking the body is actually removed, merely leaving the head as in this example.




In the event of a bear-decapitation-by-terrier, first, look for other bear remains. If the limbs and torso are missing, the recommended course of action is to induce vomiting to prevent a bear-bowel-blockage.

Force feed the terrier several teaspoons of hydrogen peroxide and wait up to 20 minutes.



Mmmm... yummy. As a result, Buddy's not feeling particularly lively this evening.

She's not fat, she's my Bailey

Went to vet today.
Weighed Bailey.
She's lost over 10 lbs!

The secret:

• Diet
  
• Excercise (In the form of a younger dog - Buddy - who is enamored with her and won't leave her alone)
  
• Thyrotabs

It's a much healthier weight for the old girl.

Broken Nails

The other day, Hank lost a nail.

Two of them actually.

We found them embedded in Buddy's face.

This is Hank's second assault on Buddy, the first resulting in a wicked cut along Bud's neck.

10 lbs. of cat.

60 lbs. of pit bull.

But Buddy didn't seem to mind. Even with two claws hanging out of his face, he was play-bowing to the cat, looking a little bit meek. More than anything, Hank had hurt his feelings. The poor delusional dog just wants to be friends.

Happy Memorial Day!

A day late... or so...
(At least Memorial Day used to be May 30.)

For your viewing pleasure, here're Buddy and Bailey hogging the backseat of the car on a trip to WashMo. Xena, meanwhile, is sleeping curled on the floorboards, pouting between bouts of nose-nudging my elbow while I drive, trying to find a way to ride shotgun on Amanda's lap.