"Help! My dog ate __________ " or "How to make Snuggles hurl chunks"

Okay, so I'm a big nerd. I look at Web statistics nearly every day to see where both of my visitors came from the day before. I do this even if I'm too lazy to post something.

Nerdery aside, it seems lots of you find the blog searching Google for variations on a single theme: "dog ate __________." ("Dog ate sock" is the most popular, despite none of my dogs actually consuming a sock... though they do like to haul them out of the dirty laundry and carry them around.) So I thought maybe you would like some actual useful information.

First, a disclaimer: If your dog swallowed something you think may be dangerous, call the vet or the ASPCA's Animal Poison Control Center - 1-888-426-4435. (There may be a fee.) I am not an expert, just a guy with dogs that eat a lot of crap they shouldn't.

There are basically three kinds of harmful things a dog can swallow:

1) Stabby things - like paperclips and chicken bones
2) Poo stoppers - like socks, pantyhose and bears
3) Poisons - like chocolate and antifreeze

The most important step is prevention. Just don't keep stabby things and poisons (including chocolate, nuts and leftover hotwings) laying where your dogs can reach them.

Okay... so obviously sometimes dogs get into things they shouldn't despite our best efforts, as demonstrated by the time Bailey reached into the kitchen sink and ate an entire pound of ground beef. And, as demonstrated by this blog, poo stoppers are everywhere. Even toys intended for dog usage can quickly turn into stomach fodder.

What then?

In most cases, you should induce vomiting. However, don't do this if:
1) They swallowed something sharp
2) They swallowed something caustic such as Drano or cleaning products
3) They are having seizures or convulsions
4) They swallowed a petroleum product
5) It's been more than two hours since they swallowed it

In the above cases, contact your vet immediately!

How do I induce vomiting?

Find a bottle of hydrogen peroxide - that stuff you put on cuts that gets all bubbly - and a teaspoon. Hold the dog's mouth open and dump two teaspoons in. The dog will probably gag or otherwise try to spew it on you, but make sure most of it goes down.

Now, wait ten minutes. If they haven't barfed yet, you might need more (Buddy has been known to need several tablespoons-worth before). You can give them one to three teaspoons more every ten minutes. Repeat up to three times.

If that doesn't do the trick, call your vet.

Some things your dog shouldn't eat that you might not know about:
Chocolate
Grapes/raisins
Pennies (The zinc coating is toxic)
Macademia nuts
Beer/Hops (doesn't hurt all dogs, but small amounts can be toxic to others, especially Greyhounds)
Onions (also garlic, though onions are worse)