Happy Memorial Day!

A day late... or so...
(At least Memorial Day used to be May 30.)

For your viewing pleasure, here're Buddy and Bailey hogging the backseat of the car on a trip to WashMo. Xena, meanwhile, is sleeping curled on the floorboards, pouting between bouts of nose-nudging my elbow while I drive, trying to find a way to ride shotgun on Amanda's lap.

Xena's Lockdown Blues

Stuck in this kennel
The kennel so low
Hang your head low dear
Hear the dogs moan
Hear the dogs moan, dear
Hear the dogs moan.
Down in the kennel,
Hear the dogs moan.

Send me some Milkbones
Send them by mail
Address 'em all over
to Xena in Jail (x3)
Address 'em all over
to Xena in Jail


Played to the tune of Birmingham Jail
Chords:
D7 = XX0212
G = 320003


Xena hurt her back. Could be a sprain or it could be the pooch equivalent to a slipped disk. Either way, she's not allowed to move much for four weeks so she's been incarcerated for the first time since she was a puppy.

In the meantime, I keep hearing her mutter under her breath about "when i get oughta this hole i'm gonna..." then she trails off into incomprehensible growling and snorting.

For the most part, she ignores her overly-excited, cobalt cell mate.

Three catnip mice...

Three catnip mice.
Three catnip mice.
See all their entrails.
See all their entrails.
They were intended for Hank the Cat,
Xena sliced them open like Mortal Combat.
Did you ever see a dog as vicious as that?
Three catnip mice.

Battle Royale

SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY! In the cagematch you'll never forget... hailing from Columbia, Missouri... XENA the SPEAGLE. Watch her face off with the vicious rookie, Maddie MAD DOG! Witness a battle royale the likes of which will never be see again! And following the show, MONSTER TRUCKS! Tickets unavailable through your Ticketmaster outlet.

(And you thought American Pit Bull Terriers were tough mutts.)

Nylabone (1997-2007)

Dear Green Nylabone,

I really want you to know that I enjoyed our time together. You swept me off my feet with your rugged charm and strength. Then, as we got to know each other, I was delighted to find how long you could last.

I guess we both know the beginning of the end. I never should have let you sit under the couch for so long. Then, when you came out, you were so dirty. The dishwasher seemed like a good idea. I'm sorry, I really am. Nothing really seemed different when you came out. You seemed refreshed, like a long day at the spa had done you good.

You were an old bone, though. Even if I couldn't see it, the heat had left you... shall we say... flaccid. And now you can't perform. We tried. It didn't end well. And now you're half the chew you used to be.

What I'm trying to say, Green Nylabone, is that we can't see each other anymore. I'm afraid that one of us will just get hurt, choking on the bitter plastic remains of our love. Goodbye,Green Nylabone. I'll never forget you.

Love Forever,
the Dogs


Product Info
This was a medium-sized, non-edible Nylabone which lasted several years, through a Corgi and Xena (beagle/spaniel). Bailey never was very interested in it. It was destroyed one day while nobody was watching after being weakened by the dishwasher, probably by Buddy (pit bull).