Of Bears and Barf

Decapitation (from Latin, caput, capitis, meaning head), or beheading, is the removal of a stuffed bear's head. Beheading typically refers to the act of intentional decapitation; it may be accomplished, for example, with an axe, sword, guillotine or terrier.

In some instances, technically speaking the body is actually removed, merely leaving the head as in this example.




In the event of a bear-decapitation-by-terrier, first, look for other bear remains. If the limbs and torso are missing, the recommended course of action is to induce vomiting to prevent a bear-bowel-blockage.

Force feed the terrier several teaspoons of hydrogen peroxide and wait up to 20 minutes.



Mmmm... yummy. As a result, Buddy's not feeling particularly lively this evening.

She's not fat, she's my Bailey

Went to vet today.
Weighed Bailey.
She's lost over 10 lbs!

The secret:

• Diet
  
• Excercise (In the form of a younger dog - Buddy - who is enamored with her and won't leave her alone)
  
• Thyrotabs

It's a much healthier weight for the old girl.

Broken Nails

The other day, Hank lost a nail.

Two of them actually.

We found them embedded in Buddy's face.

This is Hank's second assault on Buddy, the first resulting in a wicked cut along Bud's neck.

10 lbs. of cat.

60 lbs. of pit bull.

But Buddy didn't seem to mind. Even with two claws hanging out of his face, he was play-bowing to the cat, looking a little bit meek. More than anything, Hank had hurt his feelings. The poor delusional dog just wants to be friends.

Happy Memorial Day!

A day late... or so...
(At least Memorial Day used to be May 30.)

For your viewing pleasure, here're Buddy and Bailey hogging the backseat of the car on a trip to WashMo. Xena, meanwhile, is sleeping curled on the floorboards, pouting between bouts of nose-nudging my elbow while I drive, trying to find a way to ride shotgun on Amanda's lap.

Xena's Lockdown Blues

Stuck in this kennel
The kennel so low
Hang your head low dear
Hear the dogs moan
Hear the dogs moan, dear
Hear the dogs moan.
Down in the kennel,
Hear the dogs moan.

Send me some Milkbones
Send them by mail
Address 'em all over
to Xena in Jail (x3)
Address 'em all over
to Xena in Jail


Played to the tune of Birmingham Jail
Chords:
D7 = XX0212
G = 320003


Xena hurt her back. Could be a sprain or it could be the pooch equivalent to a slipped disk. Either way, she's not allowed to move much for four weeks so she's been incarcerated for the first time since she was a puppy.

In the meantime, I keep hearing her mutter under her breath about "when i get oughta this hole i'm gonna..." then she trails off into incomprehensible growling and snorting.

For the most part, she ignores her overly-excited, cobalt cell mate.

Disguise

Amanda, when did we get a Shar Pei?

Pedicure

Well, hi there Buddy. Why the long face? What's that? Is there something on your nail? Is it ketchup? Is it blood? Is it... Oh christ... it's nail polish! Did she try to give you a pedicure?



First the gonads, now this... it's a hard knock life.